Come read the various memories and anecdotes I have gathered throughout my lifetime, sorted roughly by most recent to oldest. This excludes the extremely TMI ones (I will never tell the Coca-Cola or the Johnathan story for everyone's sake). Or not.
My friend Xavier asked me if I liked Elephants or Donkeys more. I chose the elephant and then he accused me of liking Donald Trump. I doubled down on liking Trump because I had no clue about politics and because I saw a video of Hillary Clinton spitting phlegm into a cup one time and it was gross. 99% of people who went to that school were all Mexican or Latino, with the exception of myself, my siblings, Andrea McDonald (We all made fun of her for her last name being McDonalds (Like the fast food place)), Mrs. Kim, Mrs. Chang, Abraham (I think), & Mrs. Watts. Needless to say, I was torn apart, dismembered, spit on, and turned into a worthless pile of mush by the end of that school year.
During class, we had free time to do whatever we wanted. I spent most of the time inventing a new language where I just offset the alphabet by one letter (A became Z, B became A, and so on). I had the bright idea to go up to people and translate their names into said language. The first person I went up to was Danielle. When I showed her it, she said "And this is your name in my langauge" and took my whiteboard and wrote "ugly" in all capital letters. For the record I am not ugly, I just had a horrible buzzcut back then. I have no idea why she did this. The only other interaction I've had with her was asking her why she wasn't here on the first day of school.
I met my very first gay person on Roblox. The video speaks for itself. I censored the word "gay" because I thought it was a horrible, offensive slur back then because a teacher told us to stop calling the water fountain near the restroom the "gay" water fountain.
After recieving my very own laptop for my birthday in the previous year, I was free to explore the internet as I please. I stumbled across Roblox through an ad while playing flash games or something. I downloaded Roblox and played as a guest throughout early 2013. The very first game I played was a generic build to survive game that was minecraft themed. After a few months as playing as a guest, I got tired of people being mean to me for being one. For some reason guests were really hated on back then. I asked my mom to create an account for me because I had no idea how, to which she obliged. The first game I played with this account was Lava Escape, which was a clone of Flood Escape but with lava instead of water.
Our teacher sent us to have naptime so she could talk with the principal in the corner of the room. I thought it would be funny if I woke up and started making rooster noises to try and wake people up. I went up to this kid named Pablo who was sleeping in the fetal position, got mere inches away from his ear, and started screaming. It was then when I accidentally drooled into his ear, basically giving him a wet willy. The teacher sentenced me to death by lethal injection.
Every year our school would have an event where they force us to dance to a song. The song the teacher chose was "Mi Burrito Sabanero". I was extremely upset that the song wasn't something cool like Skrillex or a Minecraft parody or something. I spent almost the entire day refusing to practice the dance, fantasizing about how cool dancing to Skrillex or a Minecraft parody would be. My teacher threatened to use deadly force if I didn't participate, so I just pretended to enjoy dancing.
This kid named Eddie did something to me which made me tell on him to the recess monitor. I pointed at him referring to him with she/her pronouns. The recess monitor corrected me and told me that Eddie is a boy so I should use "he" instead of "she". That was the day I realized that wokeness must be eradicated.
Our teacher pointed to a mirror and asked the class what the object was. I raised my hand and said "mirror" (But with a speech impediment that made it sound wrong) and then this kid named Gabriel said "Thats not how you say it" and then I got sad. Because I knew. I knew it was the wrong way to pronounce it but I couldn't pronounce it correctly.
This kid named Daniel, who I distinctly remember wearing a Julius The Monkey shirt, mounted me like a horse on top of another horse while I was on all fours. That's it.